


Selected - Stydia

by stydianation



Category: Lydia Martin - Fandom, Stiles Stilinski - Fandom, Stydia - Fandom, Teen Wolf (TV), The Selection Series - Kiera Cass
Genre: Beacon Hills, Dylan O’Brien - Freeform, F/M, Holland Roden - Freeform, Selected, Teen Wolf, The Selection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27391219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stydianation/pseuds/stydianation
Summary: A crown had been waiting to have its heir for a long time, but reigning in Beacon Hills was never easy.Queen Claudia had permanently retired and King Noah would soon do so as well. There was not a minute of rest for the kingdom, which had fallen into disaster and nothing could hold it anymore.There were two heirs to the throne, Princess Allison and her twin brother, Prince Stiles. Only one of them could reign and there was only one way to decide who... and they called it The Selection.It was time to decide the new order for the people.A bad decision led Lydia Martin to run for The Selection, a traitor who had not yet been discovered. And now she had to pretend to save her family.It was time to choose. And among secrets, the battle for the crown had begun.
Relationships: Lydia Martin - Relationship, allison argent - Relationship, scallison - Relationship, scott mccall - Relationship, stiles Stilinski - Relationship, stydia - Relationship
Kudos: 20





	1. 1. Your will shall decide your destiny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the spanish version of this story is available in wattpad with the name “seleccionada” by user @stydianation (me)
> 
> english is not my first language, and i’m translating my own work from spanish to english, so it may have some mistakes i would appreciate you to correct me kindly but without judging, please. i do my best <3

Melissa was untangling my hair. 

I frowned looking at myself in the mirror, trying to recognize myself in that pastel pink chiffon V-neck ruffle dress.

"What do you think, miss," she asked me as she settled into the chair once she had finished fixing my strawberry blonde hair.

I didn't recognize my hairstyle either, it looked too much for me and that shiny sequined headband was just making it even more obvious. But I found a smile to give her, as fake as it was, no one could tell.

"It's very nice, Melissa. Thank you so much" there was something compelling me to be kind.

However, the smile that came next from her was totally genuine "The prince will be delighted with you."

As if I really cared, I gave her a quick glance. 

"You think so?" I spoke feigning interest, running a hand down my perfectly smooth dress. 

She nodded immediately with a very her smile on her face "Of course" she turned around "You look beautiful, Miss."

Her telling me so made me feel more grateful, but I was really hoping that the Prince would send me home very soon. I was supposed to pretend to be interested because I had to protect my parents, and the only way to keep our secret was to stay here.

I knew there was very little in store for us if we were discovered, we might even get kicked out of the kingdom, but there was nowhere to go. The town of Canaan was desolate and without opportunities, the people who lived there barely slept on a roof made of dry straw and shared food in camps, but there was no life out there. Some got bread by offering jobs at the port, but nothing else. Outside the realm of Beacon Hills everything was desert. And people didn't survive long away from it.

But Gerard was my biggest worry, he knew all our secrets. And now we owed him much more than money. We had to pay off our debt to him before he ratted us out and took everything we had, but I feared that was never going to happen, I feared Gerard wouldn't leave us alone. 

Since I've been here I hadn't been able to stop thinking about him for a minute, I slept with guilt fearing that at any moment he would reveal everything and turn my family in for what we did. That at any moment I would wake up to the screams of a security officer dragging me off to a dungeon for breaking not one but four laws written by the King himself. That I would never be able to see my family again. 

If I could turn back time I would do anything to convince my father to keep us away from Gerard, but we were never more than ignorant peasants. We gave him our most dangerous secrets and now he could do with them as he pleased. And we were protecting him without realizing it. 

I thought our destiny would be to starve to death in Canaan or live by torture in a dungeon until The Selection arrived, my greatest rejection, but the only thing that could save us. 

Or so Gerard said. 

The Selection was a contest that had been going on for years in the kingdom, but I never witnessed one. My mother, on the other hand, lived The Selection that united King Noah and Queen Claudia. And she told me everything I needed to know before I entered the wolf cave, things no one would tell me in here about The Selection. 

Its purpose was to get Prince Stiles to find a worthy wife to occupy the throne of queen at his side, while he was king. But princess Allison was also looking to get married and for that The Selection did not make exclusivity only on the prince, but on the one who managed to get married first. And that would be who would reign from then on. 

The little I knew about The Selection was merely rumors, when last year it was tried and failed, it was cancelled very quickly; I didn't know much about it, but I knew that it was a phenomenon for the kingdom. There were even historical books about it. Everybody talked about The Selection, and when it was a failure the kingdom suffered for many months, until they tried it again.

There were three phases, the first one was the simplest: all the young people, boys and girls who lived in the kingdom, between 18 and 21 years old. Every one of them had to take the first test, no exceptions. Even those who did not want to - who honestly were few, far between and counted with the fingers of one hand -, would have to present themselves at least to the first and then give up if they did not want to continue. 

That elimination was the second phase, not only those who did not want to be there but also those who were considered to have a "low profile". 

In the third phase, we were subtracted with interviews and tests, until finally 20 of each gender would be selected. Before starting the selection, we were taken to an "academy" where we were given behavioral classes and taught everything we had to know, say and do while in the palace. 

And honestly it was a nightmare. 

I never thought I would have a chance to be selected. When they told me I would have to apply I thought it would be the same as last year, that they would tell me to go back because I didn't have the needed profile. But no, this year was different. The kingdom was falling apart and the testing process was getting shorter and easier. It seemed they had no more time and the desperation of the kingdom had left them with no options. 

"You will be in the selection, say goodbye to your family." 

My parents were not happy, but they were relieved that I had a way to save us, at least. 

They told me I had to do well, and that they trusted me. They told me that I had to last a long time in The Selection to get paid for my jobs inside the palace. And even Gerard had pushed me to get in. 

They put it in my hands. And I was here because of that.

"Come on, it's time" Melissa said tapping me on the shoulder. 

And I sighed with a nod. 

It was selfish of me to want the prince to send me home so soon. After having passed the three tests and two weeks at the academy with the other girls, staying seemed like an obligation. But the urge to go home was dangerous. 

In the best of cases, my parents would have no way to survive and we would be forced to leave the kingdom and arrive in Canaan, dying after a few months from a plague that had spread around the small town, as happened to Meredith's family, and to herself. 

Worst case scenario Gerard would rat us out, tell all our secrets after leaving us empty handed and everything would fall into pieces for us. I was terrified of being owned by the Beacon Hills kingdom, I knew what happened to people who broke rules, who betrayed, who lied. Living in Canaan wouldn't be as bad as that. 

And I came in here knowing I was a traitor. 

It was clear to me that I didn't want to marry anyone, much less the prince. And if I said so I would possibly be dragged out of the palace with one fist in my hair. This was all I had. The smile on my face could not disappear, no one had to know that I was there to save my family, no one. 

Second intentions were also severely punished. That made five broken laws already. 

I stood up on the heels Melissa had given me and walked out meeting the other selectees in the hallway of our ward. They were all beautiful, and I was sure any of them could win.

But I felt bad for one of them in particular, the one who was going to marry the prince. And even though we didn't know who she was yet I already felt bad for her, or for the boy who was going to marry the princess. 

Rejection by the royal family would never leave my body. 

Although surely the chosen one would be completely happy to be part of the monarch system. I, on the other hand, could not wait to run away and not relate to them anymore, nothing would cure all the fear they had sown in my family. 

I had to keep up appearances, I could not show my thoughts. As much as I wanted to scream and end this slave reign, I didn't have the power or the tools to do it and my family depended on me. 

"Lydia, you look wonderful," Erica said with a beaming smile, looking me over from head to toe. She reached up to brush the top of my hair in admiration "You have such beautiful hair"

I smiled in response "Thank you so much, Erica" I replied "You look beautiful too."

Malia soon came up to greet me too "Lydia!" She came towards me effusively "I love your dress."

I kept smiling "Thank you" I told her "And I love yours."

Her eyes squinted in excitement. She looked incredibly beautiful too. 

Malia would be the perfect candidate to be the prince's wife if she wasn't so good to belong to the kingdom, I had no doubt. The prince would fall in love with her very easily. Although it made me sad that she was such a lightweight, she did everything she was told, if someone made her think she was ugly she believed it, she felt the need to apologize for not living up to it and tried to fix it. She didn't question anything, she had a big heart, but it was a submissive heart. And that made me kind of upset, because she was so beautiful that I wanted her to feel that way all the time. And that it wasn't out of obligation, or that she felt she had to comply with being a lovely princess. That she would be herself without me expecting her to fulfill anyone but her. 

And even though I knew she could win without any problem, I would hate it if she did. For me, winning was nothing more than a punishment. 

A royal punishment. 

Talia appeared, clearing her throat and calling the attention of all the girls. 

"Follow me" she ordered giving us a hard look and turning around to walk, her heels echoing loudly throughout the hallway. 

I swallowed under my breath. 

We did as she ordered and followed her, walking down the corridor that led to the wide stairs and the hall where all the nobles of the palace and even outside of it were waiting for us. As we walked down we realized that we had never seen so many people together at the same time. 

"Stop" Talia ordered and we did, I raised my forehead keeping a neutral expression, I had learned to hide my emotions too soon, or rather I had forced myself to do it. "Form a line and wait for the prince."

Today was the first day of The Selection and we had to present ourselves before the entire palace and all the cameras pointed at us. 

The king appeared a few minutes later with his uniform perfectly arranged, giving the announcement to start the gala. The girls were trembling in front of me, but they were trying to hide it. What I was trying to hide, instead, was my disgust for being in this place with all the people dressed as if they were artificial blanket or silver dolls. 

I looked at them, but I wasn't really seeing them. Their smiles were fake, such as mine, but their reasons were surely different. Others were smiling looking at us excitedly, hoping that one of us would be the perfect one to be the princess and eventually occupy the throne of the kingdom. 

The queen was ill and had relinquished her crown. We didn't quite know what was wrong with her but she was dying and could no longer take control of the palace, which for a while was falling apart, but the solution had arrived: The Selection. 

King Noah announced the entrance of Prince Stiles and everyone bowed. Talia looked at us seriously and we understood that we had to do the same. 

"Your Highness" Talia greeted, just when the prince was in front of her. 

Highness. I wanted to roll my eyes.

The prince looked at us intently and we stiffened in front of him, without looking him directly in the eyes, it was not allowed yet. Although I avoided his gaze for pleasure.

He stood in front of Erica, who responded with a bow, as Talia had taught us at the academy we had to do. 

"What is your name?" I heard the prince's voice, I had heard it before but never so close, it was a very fresh and relaxed voice. 

"Erica, your highness" she answered this time looking at him.

He gave her a kind smile "You can go and sit down, Erica." he said and a smile appeared on his lips.

"Thank you" she answered with a nod and walked to the selection table.

We had gone over this gala many times at the academy. Erica had been the first to have the "honor" of being at the table, I saw out of the corner of my eye the excitement in hers, her blonde hair was tied in a bun on top of her head, she was beautiful too. 

Erica was arguably the one I got along with the best out of all the girls, I spent a lot of time with her and we spend together the two weeks of academy. 

Now she could eat without any problem, a butler approached her as if she were a goddess and offered her the most elegant dish my eyes had ever seen. Getting to the table was like immunity. 

I was relieved for her, though not happy. But at least she could eat. 

The prince stood in front of me after a few seconds, I answered with a quiet bow 

"What is your name?" he asked and that gave me the "right" to look at him.

We couldn't look up until he spoke to us, by doing so, he gave us permission to look at him. It was ridiculous. 

The first thing I found was a pair of hazel circles. 

"Lydia" I answered and he didn't seem surprised when I avoided the highness part, but Talia looked at me from afar as if she was going to bury me alive.

The prince did not seem upset. He looked at all the girls naturally and then his eyes came back to me. 

"The rest of you sit down." he ordered. 

The girls looked confused, but did not hesitate. They gave him a bow and walked over to the table to keep Erica company, but they were still looking at me as if I was in trouble. I wasn't worried at all 

The prince gave me one last look before he held out his arm in my direction and I was forced to entwine it with mine. He leads me to the center of the hall where all the gala music was playing. The audience was staring at us with smiles from ear to ear and murmuring among themselves. 

He turned until he stood in front of me placing one hand on my waist and with the other hand enclosing my fingers with quite a lot of practice. As he moved, in my head I remembered all the steps Talia had forced us to memorize and practice so many times before the gala.

"Did you like the dress?" he asked looking me in the eyes and I nodded. 

"Yes, your highness" I answered looking at Talia over the Prince Stiles' shoulder, who was already giving me warning glances "Thank you so much."

The prince had chosen the design of all the dresses, including mine. But he hadn't done it for a special reason, he was doing it because it was his duty. 

The prince's twin sister, Allison, was dancing next to us with one of her selected as well. They were both looking for a partner to get to lead the kingdom when King Noah retires altogether to take care of his wife. 

It would be better for me if the princess got one first, so I wouldn't have to go through the guilt of having to tell my parents that I hadn't made it. 

The prince gave me a light twirl and I felt the breeze making the dress hit my shivering skin. "Has anyone from your family come with you?" he asked and I shook my head immediately. 

I really wished they had, but all my family was older.

"No, they didn't."

"Don't you have any siblings?"

I shook my head again without leaving his hazel eyes. It was true that the prince was properly handsome. To be fair, he was beautiful. But that was obvious, everyone knew it and I was supposed to know it too, but for me it wasn't enough. The only beauty he possessed was on the outside because for me, inside he was nothing more than a prince, a figure of rejection. 

"No, your highness" I limited myself to answer and he nodded his head. 

He took one of my hands between his fingers to make me turn in the center of the room and instantly another person was holding my waist. It was brown eyes that were looking at me now, a selected one of Princess Allison. 

In front of us, the twin siblings were dancing around looking at each other and talking in whispers. 

"She's very pretty, isn't she?" I asked the boy and he nodded his head. 

"She is beautiful."'he affirmed and I smiled 

"Any luck?" I asked him, I was more relaxed talking to a selected, even if I didn't know him.

He shrugged his shoulders without breaking his perfect dancing posture "I don't know, she is very nice to everyone. What about you?"

"I don't know, but they say that the fact that we were chosen first to dance is a good sign" I tell him, trying to show that I was happy about it, even if I wasn't. 

A few minutes later the center was full of selected from the prince and the princess, dancing with the royal siblings, even between selectees themselves. Each of them with smiles as kind as glittering on their faces.

All eyes were on us and I had to put together the best of my smiles. The kindest...but the most false one.


	2. I am no bird, and no net ensnares me

It was comforting to have something to do inside the royal palace. Something I felt useful and busy with, I preferred to think about my duties inside the palace rather than my obligations as an aspiring princess.

My mind gradually became distracted as I went about my business in the kitchen. I had to admit that I was very comfortable with the very large space, although it was not the royal kitchen of the palace, it was very beautiful. The royal kitchen was way out of our reach; the cooks there were chosen directly by the king. We cooked only for a small section of the palace and for ourselves.

After making breakfast, I had the opportunity to work for a few hours in the palace garden with the others. Erica was standing next to me in a sun hat picking up the excess brush on the ground with a pair of gloves.

"Do you think it meant anything?" she asked me in an unsure tone "That I went to the table first."

I thought about what to answer, I really had no idea, but I had to encourage her anyway "I'm sure he saw something in you."

“Do you believe so?” She sounded excited, an emotion I couldn't share. 

I gave her a closed-mouth smile “Let's hope so.”

She sighed and continued her work in the grass, humming the whistles of a song that emanated happiness at the probable memory of last night's gala. 

Talia appeared in the garden with a neutral and serious expression, her eyes examined us very carefully before she started to look for someone among us, her gaze stopped on Erica.

“Erica” she called out to her, making her turn around to look at her. 

“Yes?” she whispered a little confused 

Talia stood stiffly “Get dressed and wash your hands, the prince wants to see you in an hour.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. All glances fell on her, even mine. A smile crept across my lips but she wasn't even able to move. 

Talia looked irritated about it but didn't say anything rude “As soon as possible, Miss Erica.”

She opened her mouth to say something and all the girls started smiling towards her in terms of encouragement. Except Tara.

“Right-right away” she stood up to wipe her hands on her work dress, dusting it a bit.

She looked at me like she was hallucinating. I gave her a smile “I told you so.”

But she still didn't seem to come out of her trance. 

“Follow me, please.”

And with a nod she left to follow Talia. They all looked at her with the desire to wish her good luck and we immediately continued with our tasks.

We finished about an hour and a half after Erica had left and we were given the opportunity to go to the dining room for a short pre-lunch snack. 

I couldn't stop thinking about my family as I ate, I still hadn't received a reply to my letter but I figured it probably hadn't reached them yet. I really wanted to communicate with them, I missed them so much and I wanted to let them know that I was okay. That no one had been mean to me, that I had eaten well and, of course, I also wanted to know that they were okay. And that Gerard wasn't a problem at home.

Talia appeared in the kitchen, looking at us intently.

“The snack is over” she announced, like an order “Go to your rooms and get dressed, the King will visit you all.”

“The King?” Caitlin asked immediately, making Talia's gaze fall directly on her. 

“Yes, the King” she affirmed in a tired and strict manner against her, giving a last warning glance. 

Talia was not in a very good mood and one could almost think that she resented our presence to some extent or was irritated by having to work with us.

Caitlin fell silent as if it had been a mistake to have spoken, Talia just turned and walked out of the kitchen. As soon as we heard the clicking of her heels away from us, they all stood up suddenly, accidentally banging on the table. 

“The king!” Tara exclaimed in terror “I didn't know we had to see him, could it be for something bad?”

Kira gave her a calm look “It won't be anything bad, he must want to get to know us better, I guess.”

Malia was quietly finishing her plate of food when Tara looked at her for a few seconds, as if waiting for her to react in some special way. It didn't go unnoticed the way a glint of disgust flashed through her eyes.

“Malia, dearest” she began by catching her attention “That's too much, I think that's been enough.”

Malia's cheeks reddened and she pushed her fork away from her mouth, looking regretfully at the plate still halfway in front of her. And as if she felt compelled to do so, she pushed it away. Tara gave her a smile “Better, you don't want to arrive at the meeting with the king fatter than usual.”

My eyes widened.

Rage appeared inside me again disguising my calm expressions, I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

I tried to stay calm and forced a fake smile towards Tara “I don't agree with what you say, Tara, it doesn't make sense, Princess Allison's menu is much broader than ours. And she's even thinner than us” I defended, trying to come up with an idea that was up to her standards, so that at least she would shut up.

It wasn't the most important thing, though. 

She wrinkled her eyebrows “There's no comparison, she's Princess Allison, she'll always be perfect.”

“Thin isn't perfect, Tara.”

“Of course it is, have you ever seen a fat princess?”

I squinted at her. “No, I have never seen a fat princess, at least not in this kingdom” I said, my words seemed to make her feel satisfied, but I continued “But I have never seen a perfect princess either, no matter how thin she is.”

They all looked at me dumbfounded. Someone wanted to end the awkward conversation and cleared their throat, I didn't realize it was Kira until she spoke “Alright, ladies” she exclaimed “Let's get changed, before Talia gets mad.”

They all started to move around the kitchen quickly wanting to flee from there to go to their respective rooms and get ready for the meeting with the King later. As my eyes found Malia and I feel her whisper "Thank you" to me barely audible. 

I was only able to give her a small smile in response. But I stayed with her, making sure she finished her plate of food. 

After a few minutes I decided to go to my room to wait for the dress I would have to wear at the meeting. But my steps stopped when I saw the bunch of girls gathered in a circle in front of Erica's room, and none of them looked pleased. 

I approached with concern, and realized what was going on when I looked into her room. 

Erica was crying sadly, no one knew what to do or what to say to her. Her hands were on her makeup table and her head was sunk in them as a way of hiding. Melissa was trying to comfort her, her hands slowly stroking her hair with warm whispers. But nothing seemed to work, she was still crying with noticeable grief.

“We'd better leave her alone for a moment” Melissa said looking at us. 

I didn't want to leave knowing that something bad had been said or done to her while she was with the prince, she was so excited before going with him. And the idea that she had been sent home crossed my mind, although I tried to stay positive and think it had been something else.

“Melissa” I called out to her in a low voice. “Keep me posted.”

She gave me a warm smile. “Of course”

“What did they tell her?” Cora -Malia's cousin- asked me.

Kira gave her a blank look and answered for me “We don't know, she came in crying and laid down without saying anything.”

Tara opened her eyes in surprise. “What if she was sent home?”

Malia shook her head repeatedly. “Don't even say it” she almost asked

Tara shrugged her shoulders. “It could be a possibility”

Tracy took a step forward. “She hadn't been sent home, she'd been there for half an hour and her things are still in place. It must have been some other kind of mishap”

“Anyway we have to let her rest, she looked really overwhelmed.” I said and Tara gave me an unconcerned look.

“Too bad she won't be able to go with us to see the king," she said sarcastically, as if she actually found it satisfactory.

I've never wanted to offend someone so much in here, and I've wanted to offend a lot of people. 

I turned around leaving them alone while they were still talking about it to go into my room and take a deep breath. Waiting for Melissa to arrive with the dress I would have to wear. But instead Braeden came a few minutes later, carrying a black bag. She placed it on top of my bed then turned and looked at me.

“Melissa will be here soon to help you with your makeup and hair. I'll help you put on your dress.” She said, as kind as ever.

I nodded approaching the edge of my bed. “Who sent this one?”

“Prince Stiles, Miss. As always," she replied, pulling out the black bag quickly, leaving another transparent wrapper that brought the dress into view. 

My eyes ran up and down it as if it had fallen from heaven. I felt relief when I realized it wasn't a big gown by any means, it was the lightest thing they had brought me and I was grateful for that.

It was long and white, it looked my size to fit, but it didn't have any cups or huge alterations from the waist down, it was loose. It was surrounded by a belt materialized in the same fabric and color as the dress, with gold-colored buttons from the waist up. And I knew that now, when someone asked me "Did you like the dress?" I wouldn't have to lie again.

Braeden didn't have to help me much with the dress, she gave me privacy to change behind the dressing room and adjusted the back zipper. She helped me put on my stockings and eventually my shoes, which thank God were not high heels. 

“There you go, Miss. Melissa will be here any minute.”

I gave her a friendly smile. “Thank you, Braeden.”

Having said that she left and soon Melissa arrived, after exchanging a word or two with Braeden. She gave me a smile as her eyes met mine and she noticed I was wearing the dress.

“You look beautiful, miss”

I smiled. “Thank you so much, I love the dress.”

She nodded in my direction, as if in agreement. “It's very pretty, it's the first time Prince Stiles has sent such light things, but I think you got lucky”

Stiles chose the designs for all our dresses, he had always been very original with the choices and at every turn he had surprised us with a different dress. But all dazzling and extravagant, with glittering embellishments and intricate lace. This was a bit more refreshing. I wouldn't call it luck, though. 

“Come on, sit down to do your hair.” She said pointing to the chair in front of the small table.

She began to untangle my hair and cover me with constant brushing. I didn't realize how long it took for Melissa to finish, nor did I realize how long it took for her to give me the signal that it was time to leave. And trying to keep my composure, I left the room.

Melissa didn't tell me anything about Erica and I decided not to ask for the moment, I didn't want to seem too nosy. The door to her room was closed. And I didn't see her with the others when Talia appeared and ordered us to line up one behind the other to walk to the hall where King Noah would be receiving us.

“Come in and have a seat. The King is inside waiting, so be sure to greet properly," Talia ordered and all we could do was nod to her.

She signaled for us to enter and the two uniformed guards on either side of the door opened it for us. This palace had too much security.

The King was sitting in a chair in the center of the others surrounding him. He looked like a judge who was about to give us a verdict. When his eyes met us, we greeted him with a mechanical bow and he stood up.

“Please take a seat” his voice seemed warmer than I expected it to be.

We obeyed him and walked to the seats, not hesitating much in which one to choose, as if we already knew the order.

“How are you holding up to?” he asked cordially and relaxed, sitting down afterwards.

Of course, Tara was the first to respond. “Wonderfully, your majesty.”

He smiled in our direction, nodding his head. “Very well," he added. “I would like to discuss with you about financial matters. I would like you to be clear from now on about your payment rights and all the guidelines in this regard” We nodded and he continued, "One of you will go home when Stiles decides to, but we would also like to show our gratitude by giving you the first payment before any of you leave. And if so, may it not be empty-handed.”

My heart began to pound deep and hard, I had no idea we would be paid so soon. We had barely been here a week or less. I knew I would immediately send the money home, my parents would be too relieved about it. It was the best news they had ever given me. I tried hard to disguise my excitement. I didn't want suspicious looks to fall on me so quickly, let alone being called self-serving.

King Noah continued to explain the economic terms of The Selection for a few more seconds, now adopting a serious, negotiating look. Until he finally looked at us “... Talia will keep track of every level and reports. Now, any questions?”

We shook our heads. “No, your majesty. Thank you”One of the girls answered. I believed it was Cora

The King nodded. “This will be the only day that the payment will be delivered by me personally, from this week Talia will be in charge of delivering the due envelopes to each one. I also want you to know from this moment on that there will not be any kind of advance, if you want to send the money to any part of the kingdom Talia will help you. If you need to buy something outside, Talia will also help you, but I am afraid there is no way for you to leave the palace, everything has to be informed with her first. Clear?”

“Yes, your majesty.” we all answered in unison

“Good, now you can take your envelopes.” he said giving each of us a white envelope, in the order we were seated.

We stood up and received the envelope and sat back down. The door opened and we turned to see Talia with a serious expression, as if she was waiting for us.

“You may leave now, ladies. Have a nice day.”

“Thank you so much, your majesty.”

And so we did, the security men held the doors for us and as soon as we left they closed. I let out a sigh as soon as I walked out, my hands were shaking as I held the envelope with the money in my hands, it was the best thing that had happened to me so far. Talia gave us a look.

“You can do with the rest of this time what you please, do not go too far if you want to promenade, at lunch time you have to be in the dining room. Some duties are missing, we will see them in the afternoon.”

We had been awake since five in the morning and this had been the only break we had been given today, not counting lunch time. Talia was about to leave when I stepped forward.

“Talia," I called to her and she turned and raised her eyebrows questioningly, "I'd like to send my envelope home.”

She frowned. “So soon?

I made an effort to disguise her “ Yes, I don't intend to use it here at the moment.”

She didn't protest and just nodded, I was enormously relieved by the gesture “Alright, I'll get it to you as soon as possible.” 

I smiled gratefully “My thanks” I said handing her the envelope for her to keep it.

She gave me a nod and I watched as she warmed up to the mailroom. The girls decided to walk around the palace during free time and talk to each other. From my side I wanted to go to the main palace garden, it looked exceptionally beautiful and colorful today. I stopped to admire the water fountain that was in the middle of all the flowers and hedges.

When I turned around, I thought I would run into one of the girls but instead I saw Prince Stiles coming straight towards me, or towards the fountain, I didn't quite know.

“Lydia.”

I turned to get a better look at him, he looked radiant as usual. “Hello” I greeted him

Talia's little voice that lived in my head scolded me for not greeting correctly. 

“How do you do?”

“Very well, thanks for asking. How are you?”

“I'm fine.” he answered, standing next to me to look at the water fountain “How was work?”

“Quite refreshing” I didn't realize how sincere I had been.

He just nodded. I didn't know what else to say but it wasn't necessary, I realized that the prince was not a quiet man and apparently always had something to say. 

“Did you like the dress?”

I turned to him with a genuine nod “Yes, it's beautiful, thank you so much.”

I almost bit my tongue when I realized I forgot the highness again. God, it was so hard. I had to have Talia in front of me so I wouldn't forget, otherwise I wouldn't make any effort. 

Now I could see a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips, but he didn't seem dare to complete it. “I'm glad. Would you like more dresses like that?”

I looked at him and made sure I spoke correctly this time. “I would love to, your highness, they are indeed very comfortable.” I told him.

He just nodded. “Very well, you shall have them.”

Apparently clothes were one of the few things I could choose in here. 

“Thank you” I wanted to give him a forced smile. 

It didn't take long for Prince Stiles to apologize and take his leave. But I wasn't disappointed, instead I was relieved when he left. I hated pretending in front of him while I was holding back from telling him I wanted to go home. 

I watched him walk away with his precise, neat steps, without a single fold or flaw.

I wanted to roll my eyes. His perfection was just ridiculous.


	3. A strong effort of the spirit of good

Erica looked bad. Her eyes red as if she had been crying for hours and I knew for sure she had been. 

It had been a whole day since she had walked into her room like that, devastated, without talking to anyone. I felt helpless, I didn't know what to say. "Melissa told me you've been the only one to ask about me since yesterday."

My eyebrows knitted together with concern. "Are you feeling better?"

She sniffled through her nose and an anguished expression came over her face. And from that look, I knew she wasn't feeling any better. She opened her mouth to say something and then closed it. I walked over to her to sit next to her on the edge of the bed, her hands were pale as was her whole body. 

"You can tell me" I assured her softening the tone of my voice.

She shook her head and looked down "Did the prince send you home?" I asked directly

She shook her head again and that made me feel relieved, at least partially. "Not exactly."

I frowned somewhat confused. "Not exactly?"

Her eyes glazed over and she tried to take a deep breath to speak. I was worried she would get worse if she told me what had happened, but I was more worried that I wouldn't be able to help her.

"My grandfather has passed away. The prince actually wanted to see me to tell me the news." I watched as her weary expression quickly transformed into a sharp, crippling pain, making her eyes glaze over even more.

My skin went cold from my feet to my head. "Oh my God," I blurted out, placing my hand on top of hers. "I'm so sorry"

"The prince told me I could go home if I wanted to. And that I could think about it for as long as I needed to, but that it would be my decision." I felt her icy, trembling hands clasp mine. 

My chest shrank. "And have you made your decision?"

She looked at the floor "Yes" she said in a whisper. "I want to go home. Being here and knowing that my family is alone has suddenly become unbearable. I know that if I leave I won't be able to come back, but I prefer it. My grandfather was...so excited about the idea of me being here, it doesn't make sense anymore."

My eyebrows knitted together. "Erica, are you sure you've thought this through?"

She nodded. "Yes. I'm so sorry, but I can't-"

I interrupted her. "Don't say sorry, it's your right. And if that's what you need, you have to do it. And much to my regret, because I'm going to miss you so much."

She forced a smile. "Me too, Lydia, you're the only one who cares about me in this place. I appreciate that."

I squeezed her hand in mine. "You're welcome. And I hope with all my heart that you get well shortly and that everything goes well as soon as you get home."

"I'll write you as soon as I can."

I gave her a grateful smile. "I would very much love for you to do so."

And then she sighed half-heartedly and leaned over to give me a short hug, It felt like goodbye.

And it was. A few hours later, Erica left the palace with the few things she had in a suitcase. The prince had given her the envelope of money the king had given us yesterday, even a little more, the king had sent for transportation for her. A comfortable and safe car. She looked dejected as she said goodbye to everyone with a poor, tired wave of her hands.

And with nothing more, she left.

I was not in an excellent mood for the rest of the week.

Working in the kitchen and in the garden I was more bored than usual. I missed Erica's golden mane while she was helping me in the garden and talking to me about our family. I was so sad that she had to leave just like that, that she had been the first to leave and I hadn't. Still no one suspected my selfless behavior because I was selected, they all assumed it was just because Erica was leaving, but it was also because I wasn't thrilled to be in this place pretending to be as selfless as I could be.

Talia called me to tell me that a couple of letters had arrived in the mailroom for me, the first was from my parents. They had told me they had received the money, thanking me for sending it so soon. They confirmed that they were well and wished me success in the selection. The second letter was from Gerard. I didn't even feel like reading it, I put it in my pocket for later. I knew what to expect.

"Did your parents write to you?" a familiar voice asked behind me.

I turned to find the boy I had seen last week at the gala with the prince and princess. A selected one too.

I gave him a smile as a gesture of affirmation. "Yes, yours?

He shook his head, "No. I don't need a letter. I see my mother every day."

"Is your mother inside the palace?"

He nodded. "Yes, I'm sure you know her very well."

I gave him a confused look, I had no idea who it could be. "Please don't tell me it's Talia."

That made him laugh freely. "No. It's Melissa"

"Your mother is Melissa?" I heard myself surprised "You're quite lucky."

This made him smile, as he did so, his eyes narrowed into a line. " I know" he fell silent for a moment and looked at me extending his hand towards me. "Scott"

I smiled shaking his hand with a small polite nod "Lydia."

I stepped away to say something to her when the doors to the mailroom were opened by two uniformed security men, surprising us. 

Immediately Princess Allison appeared before us with her hands clasped in front of her and a glittering, enchanting gown, which on her, dazzled all the reflection of her beauty and the magic she possessed. But also the discretion that could not disappear, that elegance, that subtlety that was so much hers. She was beautiful, everyone knew it. Her hair and eyes were dark, but enchanting. That and her skin shared the same hue with Prince Stiles.

I wouldn't have wanted to be so overwhelmed by her beauty then. I had convinced myself that everyone in this kingdom had hurt my family and that their beauty was nothing more than a mask to sweeten our people.

Instantly Scott and I greeted her with a bow. Her eyes fixed on us while she smiled and approached us "Your Highness" Scott said. 

"Scott, how are you?"

"Very well, your highness, thank you for asking. How are you?" Scott's voice had taken on a different air, the sparkle in his eyes was evident. But he looked very relaxed in her presence, he looked at ease and liveness.

I suddenly envied him. I envied him for feeling all those things when he saw the princess, I knew he didn't have to pretend. His expressions were genuine.

She wore a small smile. "Good. My brother has arranged a dinner party, I was wondering if you'd like to join me."

Scott stroked the corner of his own lips with a smile and nodded toward her by way of acceptance. "Of course, your highness."

She nodded. Then she turned to me, looked me up and down, "What is your name?" she asked.

Due to the surprise my back stiffened and my bones tensed, but I answered obediently "Lydia, my name is Lydia."

She nodded as if she had confirmed something in her head and smiled with more satisfaction "Would you like to join us for dinner, Lydia?"

"Uh, I..."

She let out a little laugh and cocked her head to one side. "Don't stutter, dearest, would you like to join us?"

React.

"Yes, I'd be delighted," I managed to say at last.

I saw the satisfaction cross her face. "My brother will be just as delighted. See you then, Lydia." She nodded towards me and then looked at Scott. "Scott"

"Your Highness" we gave her a polite nod.

And with nothing more to say, the princess left, walking out the door and being escorted by the same uniformed man who greeted her. 

"That was unexpected."

I let out a nervous laugh and shook my head. "Tell me about it."

"A royal double date" he turned to me " I got a date."

"Congratulations" I laughed lightly.

"Aren't you happy yourself?" he asked when he saw my neutral expression.

I had completely forgotten to fake excitement. I couldn't be aware of it every moment, as if it were real. "Certainly, of course I'm happy. I'm just still surprised." Wasn't entirely untrue, I'm surprised but...happy? Not exactly.

I was just hoping I could stay a couple more weeks here, get enough money. Pretend to have contracted a bacteria or something to get them to send me home. But I definitely couldn't go all the way, my intention wasn't to go so far as to get the princess crown and eventually the queen's. I didn't want that to happen and the thought of it made me almost panic. From the beginning the plan was to keep me here for a while to get the money and fulfill Gerard's request. 

Later Melissa came into my room with a smile from ear to ear. 

She was carrying a black bag in her arms "The prince has sent this exclusively for you, Miss."

Melissa uncovered the dress and my eyes roamed over it with strange admiration. The prince had remembered the tulle and silk material of the dress he had sent me last week. But this one was a tad different. It was more elegant, though it didn't leave the light air in the frame part, a lace at the waist that went almost unnoticed but not for me, it had a vivid purple color, nothing garish, but nothing heavy either.

It was beautiful, they didn't have the bell frames and outrageous embellishments made with satin and graphic colors. 

Melissa helped me get dressed. And as much as I liked the dress, I still couldn't recognize myself in the mirror. I knew that girl in the reflection wasn't me. The dress, even though it screamed my name, it also screamed a lot of money I could never have gotten. 

If I tried for belonging. At least for pretending, if I tried my hardest and wanted to fall in love with the dresses, the palace, the garden, the kitchen, then why did I still want to run away from here?

Still, I knew that my smile could not disappear. And looking in the mirror I smiled to myself, wanting to encourage me. Telling me that everything will be okay. 

When Melissa finished fixing me up for the date she looked at me through the mirror "You look beautiful, Miss."

"I want you to call me Lydia"

"Very well" she nodded "Lydia, you look beautiful."

"Thank you so much" I thanked her and a new curiosity overtook me "How's Scott?"

Her eyes opened, illuminated by a new glow through her pupils. Every faction of her face widening "He's very happy" she answered without taking too long "And he's looking quite handsome" she added, proudly. 

I smiled a little "I can imagine" I told her "I didn't know you had a son. Do you have more?"

"No, just my Scott. He's the nicest boy in this palace, miss."

Melissa helped me to stop pretending so easily with those words and I simply felt like a peasant girl talking to a proud mother again. 

"Would you like him to marry Princess Allison?"

I noticed her eyes were a little lost inside the mirror and she suddenly shook her head "That would be a dream, miss. I'm not allowed to dream that much."

"Lydia" I reminded her "Call me Lydia."

She managed a small laugh that formed slight wrinkles around her brown eyes "Yes, I'm sorry. It's a habit."

Talia interrupted in the room with a couple of knocks on the door to announce that I had to leave now. I was dressed in the best clothes and my hair was decorated with the most beautiful and discreet ornaments at the same time. And with all that, nothing could bring me peace.

I had never entered the grand gates of the palace, except in the great hall during the gala. That was the closest I had ever come to knowing the royal halls, we were kept out of the way. At the small gates. 

Talia escorted me to the entrance of the big doors. I saw Scott from here. 

"Go inside now and wait for the princess and prince to stand. Be sure to greet them properly when they arrive," she ordered and Scott was the first to nod.

Talia withdrew without forgetting to give us one last hard look. When Scott and I entered, the sight that greeted us was nothing but overwhelming. 

The royal hall was huge and spacious, but it was loaded with glittering ornaments and glittering radiance. The floor looked dazzling clean and I was afraid to mess it up. There were portraits of a lot of characters I couldn't recognize. There were a few marble statues and a music clock right in the center of the room, it appeared to be made of bronze. I also noticed that it had several large dials. 

I stopped counting the decorations when I heard Scott's voice next to me. "And this is just the antechamber."

I gave him a sideways glance and was thankful he spoke, I was paying too much attention to the pile of ridiculous statues and ornaments in front of us. I faked a smile "Indeed"

"I'm sorely nervous" he said and then I realized the simplicity of his words, the naivety that accompanied them.

I wanted to smile at him "It will be fine, you'll see" my intention was to ease him. 

I took a few seconds to appreciate Scott better. He was all dressed up in a suit, tie and vest. Melissa was right when she said he looked very handsome. Scott's hair was dark and he had a perfectly white smile. One side of his jaw was fuller than the other and his cheeks rested dimples. 

"We're their first date" Scott told me "And their dance, too."

I hadn't stopped to think about it that way. And a part of me wished it didn't mean anything. I didn't say much, I didn't know how to fake excitement about that.

But then, doors opened into the hall, revealing two escorts accompanying the prince and princess. They were laughing quietly among themselves about something until they saw us. 

Princess Allison looked exceptionally beautiful. Her black hair was styled in a crown with braids on her head and the rest of it fell perfectly down her back. She wore a dress befitting her height, it appeared to be embroidered with gold thread and like everything else, it looked gorgeous on her. Prince Stiles was not far behind, but seemed more discreet next to his sister. He was in the one suit he always wore in here unless it was too special an occasion. 

They were in front of us too quickly. 

"Your Highnesses" Scott and I greeted at the same time.

They both wore almost identical smiles. And having them so close I noticed their resemblance. Stiles taller than her, but with the same aura of integrity. 

The prince greeted me and I didn't hear the conversation of the princess and Scott next to me because I pretended to pay too much attention to him. He asked me how I was doing and I never had another answer to give him: Fine. 

And he asked me the question I knew he would ask me. "Did you like the dress?"

I almost wanted to roll my eyes. Lucky for me I didn't have to lie to him today. "Yes, it's beautiful."

"Shall we go?" Allison turned to us. 

Stiles was quick to nod and offer me his arm to walk to the dining room. I walked beside him, not daring to speak. But like Stiles, Allison wasn't a quiet monarch either. They had that in common. 

"I saw that mail arrived. Did you receive anything?" she asked curiously.

"No, your highness," Scott replied as we crossed the royal hall to the dining room. "I have no family outside the shores."

She nodded "Just your mother, then?"

"Yes, your highness."

"And you, Lydia, did you receive anything?" Princess Allison asked me now. 

I shake my head too slowly in a nod "Yes, from my parents."

"Oh, what a joy!" she exclaimed. 

"How are your parents?" it was Stiles now who asked next to me. 

"Most happy" I answered.

We walked through a mirrored door into the dining room and as we entered I wanted to unfocus on the pile of decorations that hung from the ceiling, the walls and even in corners of the floor. The tapestries were wonderful. In the center of the room was a long, huge table, where uniformed men waited to serve the dishes. When I sat down I wanted to disappear and run away, I was afraid the expression on my face would give me away. I didn't have much time left to feel overwhelmed by the abundant varieties of food in front of me, because Allison was quick to pepper me with questions. 

The same thing Stiles asked me earlier. Did anyone from my family come with me? No. Have I liked the garden so far? Yes, quite a bit. 

"Tell me, what's your favorite planting?" she wanted to know "I love carnations."

"I think my favorite so far are the scabious." It was true "There are a lot of them where I live."

"Oh" Allison was fascinated "What else is there where you live?"

The question took me by surprise but I couldn't help answering with a genuine smile, talking about my town was like talking about wonders. Of the farm, the butterfly farms, the stables, the rivers and the big square where I loved to ride my horse so much. Prince Stiles looked at me in silence. 

"Do you know how to ride?" he asked me.

I nodded and without realizing it my face lacked coldness. "Yes, and I love it. I once had a mare at home”

Stiles smiled indulgently, but soon the conversion fell on Scott. And I was relieved enough about it. Now he was telling us about his people. I noticed Allison's sudden attention on him and how she nodded as he told something new, looked surprised and interrupted the story to ask questions and more details. Stiles however, just nodded and asked casual questions throughout the dinner.

Tonight I noticed that Princess Allison talked. And she talked way too much. I had a hard time keeping up with her and noticed that she would sometimes apologize a little rosily, with tones befitting her elegance, but she would go on too soon. 

I stared at Stiles for a few seconds when he didn't notice. And it was only now that I became aware of the massive amount of moles that expanded around his jawline all the way down to his neck. The slender, perfect shape of his nose almost matching his lips was a difficult portrait to carry with. 

He noticed me looking at him and raised an eyebrow in my direction. But he said nothing, a smile almost tugged between the corners of his lips but didn't quite reach them.

I looked away. 

I felt lost at this large table, being part of an arranged date with a prince who surely thought I was in love with him. I didn't allow myself to feel shame, because only I knew the truth. 

But I did allow myself to feel rejection.


	4. Struggling against the perception of facts

When was over Allison offered Scott a tour of the front of the palace. And now that I was alone with the prince, he invited me to take a walk in the corridors of the big gates, but we never went through them. I felt uneasy as I held onto his arm to walk but it seemed wrong to move away.

"You miss your town a lot, don't you?"

There was absolute silence in those halls. Stiles knew how to direct the walk well away from the guards. 

I nodded looking ahead, without much choice for my eyes. "Yes," 

"We’ve talked a lot about you, Lydia.” his voice was soothing. 

And though it was true, it was as if we hadn't talked at all, at least not about the important things. I nodded adamantly without daring to look at him. There were few streetlights coming towards us and now we had reached the balconies. 

“Don't you want to ask me any questions?” he said and I felt it as a way of bringing me back to reality. 

A way of telling me « You have to pretend better. If you want to look interested, you have to pretend better.» But my mind drew blank at that moment. Of all the things I wanted to know about I couldn't ask him any of them. 

“I don’t really have many questions.”

I felt the hint of a smile from his side but I didn't turn around to confirm it. “None?” He seemed ironically offended, but I could tell from his tone of voice that he was trying to pique some joke. 

« When are you sending me home? » 

I tried to think of something to disguise. “I have one”

He seemed pleased and stopped suddenly. He took a step back to pull my arm away from his but holding my hand now instead, I realized there was a stool in front of one of the balconies and he wanted to sit down. His touch was not as cold as I expected. The spread of his fingers could have enclosed my hand too easily but he didn't, he just helped me sit down.

“I'm all ears” he echoed hoarsely now that we were seated. 

“Do you really pick out all of our dresses?” my question was just a way to continue the conversation but I really wasn't that interested in knowing. 

But from his expression, I seemed to have asked the right question. Very light-hearted and not at all personal.

“Not all of them, really. Allison does it sometimes, but don't tell anyone.” That last was made with an air of irony and a half-smile. 

“I won't tell” I agreed “What about this one, did you choose this one?” I mumbled looking at my dress out of the corner of my eye. 

He nodded. “Yes.”

I realized that he hadn't let go of my hands at any time and I was starting to want him to. “That’s great”

Then Stiles seemed to hide a gleam in his eye, one that came loaded with a new idea. “Lydia” he began reservedly “If you wish, you can choose the rest of your dresses.”

“That would be alright” I nodded 

But the truth is that it didn't keep me awake at night.

Stiles looked at me for a moment, as if he had expected a more effusive reaction from me. “Thank you very much, your highness” I tried to fix my rudeness, just because I had to. 

I didn't know what he expected. Did he want me to jump with excitement just because he was letting me choose my own clothes? It was something that should never have been forbidden to me in the first place.

After the walk we didn't talk about much that would have piqued my curiosity. 

He walked me to my room and said goodbye with a more than cordial nod. The sigh that left me was almost choking as I entered my room. I could no longer stand that dress. It was beautiful, yes. But it represented everything I was not. 

A princess. 

I took off my heels in a hurry and started pacing back and forth wanting to loathe the feel of his hands and the scent that still lingered in my arms from having it entwined with his for so long. Out of me, out of me. 

As the anxious beating of my heart forced me to want to run away from here, I began to remember. 

“These are direct orders from the palace, Mr. Martin. I beg you to cancel your debt as soon as possible or you will have to leave the kingdom.”

My stomach churned as I remembered my father's defeated face when they came home to warn us. And my father didn't even have half the money. 

“Please, I beg of you. Let me talk to the king, I'm sure he will understand-“ my father started but the officer was not in the mood. 

“The king has no time to settle the affairs of a peasant.” - he spat

I closed my eyes. 

It made me sick to imagine a round table meeting where the king was making these ridiculous laws. I imagined the prince, with whom I had just dined and promenade holding his arm, agreeing with every one of them and signing them into law. How did they come to the conclusion that it was a good idea to be so cruel? 

When I finished undressing it took me a long time and patience to put on my nightclothes, the only clothes that seemed to be mine truly. And I saw Gerard's letter peeking out of one of the drawers where I had kept it before I left.

Hello, Lydia. I imagine you are doing wonderfully with all the luxuries of the palace and fine meals. Do not forget your family still eats eggs and cow's milk. Congratulations on getting the money so quickly, you are really smart. I hope the weight of royal power doesn't take that away from you. I spoke to your good father this morning, I wouldn't want to worry you, but he didn't convince me this time. So I've decided that I'll keep that money for myself. For now your secret is still safe with me, so you don't have to worry about anything. I hope you don't talk either, because you know what can happen. You and your family are on my side now, don't forget that.  
— Richard. 

Richard was the name he used to avoid being discovered in the palace. In here, Gerard was a traitor and every member of the nobility rejected him. 

I realized I was crying when my arms grew damp, my lips now salty. I didn't feel like staying awake and fall asleep too quickly hoping to get rid of the knot in my chest, when that large room could lock me in with the blink of an eye. 

This was not home.

...

When I woke up in the morning I knew I was in for a lot of work in the garden. As soon as my eyes fell on the first mirror, I knew to despise my reflection in a matter of seconds. The puffy face wasn't such dangerous evidence when I compared it to the dark circles under my eyes. 

I took a bath for much longer than I should have. Talia had already lost her patience. 

“Go to the kitchen quickly and eat something. You have to be in the garden in less than half an hour.”

I had to obey. But even the clacking of her heels on the ground was unbearable. Her gait was like that of a military, but an overly elegant and powerful military. Her hands behind her back and her shoulders back. Her brow never lowered and she was always alert as was the hawk-like gaze. Talia was a true leader, if we could call her that. 

I tried not to think about how much her leadership intimidated me.

When I caught up with the girls after eating alone in the kitchen I tried to keep up with the plantings. Actually our work was just a cover. We weren't doing half of what the real palace gardeners did. It was a way to keep us busy, to give us a place to work and learn from the effort, according to Talia. Or we would leave here without any teaching other than to be treated as if we were part of royalty. And God forbid we should ever feel that superior. 

I knew that if we weren't here we wouldn't be missed. But it was lovely to pretend that my work in the garden mattered, that I would have to be careful with my plantings, that when I trimmed the leaves off the huge bushes I would have to have a wonderful result. Even if the next day the gardeners would clean up my mess. 

“How did your date with the prince and princess go?” Malia asked when she crouched down to my level. 

I was finishing planting an apple blossom and my gloves were already too dirty “Good.”

“And how is she? The princess?”

“She's beautiful, very polite. And she also likes to chat a lot. I found out her favorite plant to be carnations.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed with a blush “They're mine too!”

I nodded towards her, knowing that I told her because I’d understand her reaction. “I know.”

“What about the prince?” her voice had changed from curious to shy now. 

“The prince is also quite polite” I didn't know what else to say.

She looked at me as if sensing my remoteness “And... he hasn't kissed you?” she had lowered her voice 

I raised an eyebrow at her and let out a dry laugh as I rejoined. “Of course he didn't. You know it's forbidden.”

She made an attempt to grunt and looked over her shoulder making sure the rest of the girls were distracted working. “I know... but” she paused “I was hoping... maybe, the prince wouldn't mind such rule”

“Oh, Malia, you're not waiting for the prince to kiss you, are you?”

She fell silent looking at me for a second and then nodded many times “Yes” she confessed “Wouldn't it be romantic?”

I laughed “That he breaks the rules?”

“Yes!” I wasn't surprised that she was so excited about breaking a rule as such, I think it was the only one that none of the girls accepted “That he didn't mind and did it. It would be very brave.”

“Brave? For kissing a girl?” I frowned “Brave is someone who fights, whatever for, as long as it's good.”

She sighed “But think about it! If he broke the rules and kissed one of us, it would be so romantic. That would mean she's the ideal one”

I wanted to roll my eyes “If she's the ideal one he’d wait long enough to make it official and then, it won't be forbidden for him to kiss her.”

“I guess you're right”

“I am. For some reason there are such rules written down. Or would you like the prince to have kissed each of us before marrying you?”

Although that was not the reason for my joy, but because I was relieved never to have to kiss the prince. Or any toad like such for that matter.

Malia seemed to understand then “Yes, that’s true. It would be awful.”

I didn't want to tell her that, although I suggested it myself, I didn't think it was horrible; I couldn't care less who the prince could kissed. 

After the work in the garden, the newspaper had arrived. And I hid in a corner of the kitchen to read the new note about Gerard.

Count Gerard-Benedict Argent. Banished from the nobility for direct treason to the palace and theft of capital. 

Now that we know that the former Count Gerard-Benedict Argent has been dismissed from his noble title to become a fugitive, he is a threat to the kingdom and to its entire people. There is a royal and direct warning to speak out as soon as the former Count is found. « And his accomplices » King Noah mentioned so. Since there are now hundreds of officers and the entire security corps of the kingdom looking for him, it is likely that the only reason why no trace of the fugitive has been found is because someone is helping him to hide. And this could be the beginning of new betrayals to the kingdom. 

Who could be an accomplice of a criminal? Who could betray the kingdom? After the strong confrontation of the family, it is suspected that the banishment is due to more than capital and goods, although King Noah has not wanted to confirm it, it seems that the former count has committed a real offense against the family that has caused so much contempt within the palace. What could it have been? 

I put the newspaper down on the table before the others returned. Everyone had been warned since Gerard fled, but no one had ever suggested that it was possible he was not alone. 

The king had one of those accomplices living in his palace and didn't know it. 

I am a traitor. 

I shook my head as I heard the voices of the rest of the girls returning to the kitchen, their footsteps and those charming giggles. I tried to disguise the best of my smiles for when they found me there. I could not be part of that group, they were here to be princesses. I was here only to betray. 

I didn't want to feel guilty for the royalty. They were my biggest rejection figure and for no reason would I empathize with those who pushed my family over the edge of the cliff. Who ignored us for years and all they did was feed us fear with their laws and power.

We were simple peasants and should never feel superior because we were nothing before their eyes. I could not feel guilty for betraying those who did not deserve my loyalty. But neither was I proud to protect someone as despicable as Gerard was.

I dragged Gerard out of my head with difficulty. I was oblivious to what the rest of the girls were doing. I was too distracted to notice that the murmuring had been going on inside the kitchen for a while. 

It was Tara, complaining as usual. 

“Malia? No way! Why her?”

The rumor that Malia had a date with the prince was already running through the halls. 

“Do you really think he saw something in her?”

I knew the rumor of her date was true because she told me herself that the prince invited her to eat. If Tara didn't think he saw something in Malia, she was either blind or really jealous. I was thinking it was both. 

But I had considered it before, I was almost certain that the prince would fall in love with her very quickly. However, I had no way of knowing if the prince was already interested in any selected, or none at all.

Maybe he was just really polite. Although he was like Prince Charming, preparing a ball to find a wife, but without the charming part. 

He always seemed quite distant, polite, but distant indeed. He never talked about meaningful things, at least not that I’ve heard of. He didn't really seem to have a connection with any of us. I would see him at times in the hallways and he seemed like a complete stranger. Sometimes he seemed to be in a good mood, even laughing - if his twin sister was around. - And other times he just seemed out of focus, like he had nothing to do with us. 

That he would surprise us with a nice dress or gift, but would never connect with us in a real way. And I wasn't complaining, to me, this was refreshing. But it was as if he had just done his duty with us and then went back into the distance. Like he had to study for a test, having dates, chats and gestures towards us just so he could pass. And then that was it. He wasn't really learning, just memorizing.

Once again, it made me feel sick to my stomach. My own body was unconsciously revoking him even more day by day.

Malia returned from her date with the prince a some time before dinner. I was in her room with her as she undressed behind her dressing table. “He is so kind. I swear” she exclaimed so brightly I could touch her joy. 

“He is indeed” I made no effort to disagree. 

“And he has such a beautiful smile too” she confessed “Oh! And those moles! Have you noticed them?”

“I've noticed them.”

“Don't you love it when he asks if you liked the dress?”

I tried to laugh a bit. No, I honestly I didn’t “That's all he ever says.”

And he literally didn't know how to ask nothing else.

She could be heard sighing behind the dresser “He's so adorable” she said “I think he gets nervous when he's with us.”

Adorable? 

I wouldn't have time to think of the prince as adorable. Was he like that for everyone? 

Everyone thought of the prince as adorable, whatever that meant. I was trying, but I couldn't think of him as such, or think of him at all. I just didn't consider him as nothing more than a prince. 

I didn't say anything to Malia, and I suddenly realized that she kept talking the whole time. “... but I wish we had talked about more things.”

I wasn't really paying attention. “Like what things?”

“ I don't know” she said, as she finally came out of the dressing room “About him ... I guess.”

“Well. Did you ask him anything about him?”

And her eyes were surprised “Did I have to?”

I laughed. “How do you expect to know anything about him if you don't ask?”

“But at the academy, Talia said we shouldn't bother him with too many questions” she said.

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I knew it would be rude. “And what does Talia know? The Prince likes questions, he told me so himself.”

Her brown eyes were now enchanted “He did?” I nodded “And what did you ask him?”

“I didn't really ask much”

“Why?”

“I couldn't think of anything at the time.” And it was partially true. 

We talked until we had to go to dinner. The next few days Malia was the center of Tara's attention. But then a new rumor started popping up in our hallways: Cora had a date with the prince. 

“You must have seen the dress he sent her.”

Now that I knew he didn't always pick them out, I took those credits away from him. 

We were cooking lunch when I heard Tara complain. “He's probably picking the worst ones first.”

I rolled my eyes, couldn't she stop complaining for once? She was so jealous my head hurt. 

One of those days, Talia let me know that something had arrived in the mail for me and the excitement hit me when I saw that I finally received a letter from Erica. I sat down to unfold the letter and read it.

Hi Lydia, I'm home.  
I'm sorry it took me so long to write to you, but things have been tough. I'm not going to lie to you, you were always honest with me...it feels so empty here without my grandfather. I don't think I'll ever get used to it. We already had a funeral. My mom says everything will be okay, but I don't think so. I wish I could talk to you in person.  
I don't want to worry you. We have had a lot of family come to visit and we are never alone. They are very helpful and make me feel better. I'm happy to be with my family, now I have time to spend with them, so it's not all so bad. The prince sent his condolences and flowers, there was also a gift for my family. He is very kind.  
I hope everything is going well for you back at the palace, I miss you already. Thank you so much for being such a good friend and listening to me. I am waiting for a long answer. Please tell me everything. I will be more than happy to hear from you.  
Love, Erica. 

I didn't notice the tears until they touched my mouth. I thought I could read her letter without feeling overwhelmed, but it was almost impossible. Her sadness was obvious and I wanted to be with her to comfort her. But I was also relieved to know that she was not alone, she was with her family, surrounded by a lot of support. 

I envied her for that, she could be with them all the time now. I carefully put her letter back in the envelope and treasured it until I felt it was enough. 

She had made it out of this confinement without any effort. And there was nothing I wanted more than to get that privilege too.


	5. I must go in, the fog is rising

Dear Erica 

I am so happy to hear from you. Please send my condolences to your family. I am sorry you had to go through this, but you are not alone. I am not your family, but I am here for anything you need. You also have your real family, and I'm glad you are with them now. I wish I could do something to make you feel better, but I know only time will do that. You feel pain in way possible now, and please know that it is okay to feel it.  
Everything is fine here, work is getting better and we are keeping ourselves busy. The garden looks beautiful. I had dinner with the prince and princess ... and she told me her favorite flower was carnations, remember? Those were the ones you planted on our first day, and they are Malia's favorite too. I notice your absence around the garden and all around the palace. I miss you very much. Don't forget to write me from time to time. Melissa also sends her condolences. I really hope and pray that you and your family feel better soon. Take care, sweetheart.  
Love, Lydia. 

I stopped writing. Lately I had been in a better mood since Erica had written to me. 

And I had to admit that I was also relieved that the prince hadn't asked me out again. Although I had seen him in the halls and in the garden several times this week, we hadn't talked much. I knew that if he asked me out again I wouldn't be able to pretend as much. 

The doors to my room opened "Hello, Lydia" Melissa greeted as she entered. 

I smiled. "Hi"

"Talia told me you will choose all your dresses from now on, was that an order from the prince?" she looked curious 

I nodded. I had almost forgotten about that. "Yes"

Her smile widened. "Very well. Then you must come with me and choose some."

"Right now?"

She tilted her head slightly. "You have to wear something, don't you?"

I sighed. It was true that it had been quite some time since I had received new clothes, but I was actually used to it. I always repeated the same clothes at home. But here we had to take advantage of the variety on offer, since we were training to become royalty. Even if only one of us could make it. 

I agreed without much choice. "Let's go"

We walked down the corridors and I noticed that we were now reaching the hallway where the large doors began. Confusion soon caught up with me. "Is it inside?" I asked

Melissa elongated a negative "Oh no, dear" she told me as if there was no other answer to my question "Not through those doors, we will enter through there" she pointed to an open frame

And when we were close enough I saw that behind that hidden frame there were some stairs, almost at the bottom. No wonder I hadn't noticed them before. "Melissa" I called out to her "Have you ever been inside?"

She shook her head "Of course not. I'm just a simple small doors maid." She called me "This way"

Then I heard the sound of an exasperated voice getting louder and louder as I approached. I tried to sharpen my hearing. "No way, look how dark this is!"

Someone opened the door for us. "Too pale!" the voice now in front of us shouted, a man staring at a table full of fabrics with a horrified expression. 

"Bob" Melissa caught his eye and immediately turned to look at us. "This is Miss-"

"Lydia!" he began to get close with long steps "At last."

"Hello" I greeted him

"Hi!" he guffawed "My name is Bobby Finstock, I'm your dressmaker. Come, come this way" he pulled me to walk to one of the many tables in that huge room. 

The whole space was filled with fabrics, boxes, black bags and mannequins. There were almost no spaces for decorations, although they were no slouches either. The table he took me to was laden with a lot of drawings. 

"The prince said you choose now, so tell me, which ones do you like?"

I opened my mouth looking at the pile of drawings in front of me "Uhm...."

" I have more over here!" he interrupted me, pulling out a small box from under the table and putting it next to me. 

More drawings. I titled my head to one side. How was I supposed to choose from all that?

"Well-"

"Or you could look at some dresses I've already finished" he interrupted me again and I let out a breath. 

He wouldn't let me speak. 

"I like light dresses," I said softly.

But Bobby didn't seem surprised. Instead he nodded his head "I know that, my dear." He pointed to some sheet of paper lying on that table and his finger fell on the word "notes" next to my name.

All that described the characteristics of the dresses I had liked the most. 

Although every time the prince asked me about it, - my answer always being "yes", because I couldn't say otherwise - he seemed to realize when I was telling the truth and when I was not. 

I remembered that at the gala I wore sequins and a satin dress, I told the prince that I liked it even though it wasn't completely true. And it seems he realized it, because he crossed out sequins and satin. At the meeting with the king he sent me a silk and tulle dress, I told him I liked it and I didn't lie then. He also realized it, because he kept it.

And I seemed to suddenly understand why so many: "Did you like the dress?"He was trying to figure out which way to choose them. 

"Did the prince tell you all this?" I kept looking at the notes.

Bob did not take long to react "And who else?"

I kept quiet.

"Is there a mistake?" he asked attentively. 

I looked away from the notes and denied. "No, none."

Bobby smiled broadly. "All right, then let's get to work!"

Bobby had plenty of designs for every occasion. After getting to know each category, I finally chose the most appropriate dress I could have chosen. It was a cream-colored, natural silk, pleated dress. It had a flared waist band and was perfectly comfortable. Bobby suggested putting some bows on the sleeves but I refused, I liked it just the way it was.

"It's perfect! I'll get it to you when I'm done."

The time we were here I had begun to feel quite comfortable with the solvency of his familiar and expressive manner. I had taken a liking to him all too soon. 

"All right, Lydia. It's time to go back" Melissa said to me after a while approaching us. 

I knew I had to get back to continue the work. By now we would have to be cooking lunch in the kitchen. And since Malia asked me a lot of questions about it, I told her all about Bobby. She kept sighing with every word as if it sounded like a charming tale. 

"It was sweet of him to let you pick out the dresses" I knew she was referring to the prince. 

"It's not sweet" I refuted "It's the right thing to do."

Malia didn't seem to understand my reaction and I thought I let my dislike for her words, and even for the prince himself, show too much. I hadn't realized I had a frown on my face until she looked at me intently. 

I shook my head and tried to soften my features "But it was very kind of him, of course." I wanted to smile to fix it, but I don't know if it worked "The prince is a gentleman."

I wanted to laugh inside. I looked at Malia askance out of the corner of my eye, hoping she hadn't figured me out. But she seemed to believe it this time because she sighed out of nowhere "Completely!"

I was relieved. Sometimes I simply forgot that I was rejecting him so hard that I didn't even make an effort to compliment him in front of the other girls, when they were supposed to think I was smitten with him too. I would have to give him more compliments in public if I didn't want to be found out. I couldn't trust anyone. Much less get anyone to trust me.

I could not feel that admiration for this palace as the rest felt it. I had hoped that maybe I would find something good in Prince Stiles but all I could see was a powerful man choosing from a long line of women waiting to marry him.

The next day, Tara was quick to boast that she had finally gotten a date with the prince. 

There was no convincing Tara that it wasn't necessary for everyone to know, she wanted us all to witness what she had accomplished with the prince, even though she was judging those who accomplished something first. 

"I'm sure he'll send me a beautiful dress" I heard her say along with the others, who were looking at her almost feigning attention and interest. "Do you know he picks them all?" she asked them "No wonder he always gave me such lovely dresses."

He didn't always choose them. But at least the woman was excited. "Yes, he has given me beautiful dresses too" Kira answered. 

Tara wanted to ignore her comment "But mine were perfect! Come, come on, I'll show you..."

And she took her to her room, possibly to show off everything the prince had given her. And I'm sure she'll talk not only about her dresses. 

Poor Kira. 

After some work Talia let us rest. I didn't feel like taking any walks, I just wanted to be in my room. I sat down in front of my desk to re-read the letter my parents had sent me a few days ago, I was looking forward to another one soon. 

I heard two knocks on my bedroom door. It was Malia; she had her eyes under shades and I could tell she looked worried about something, until I saw the newspaper in her hands. My face fell. 

"Malia, what do you have there?"

"Oh Lydia, have you read the paper?" she asked knitting her eyebrows together "They haven't captured Count Gerard."

I swallowed the rock in my throat "Former count." I wanted to correct her "What do they say about it?" I asked, as if I hadn't read the paper already. 

Malia took a seat on the couch in my room and opened the pages of the newspaper before her, the pictures appearing one after another. "They say he must have accomplices out there. Can you imagine? Who could help that criminal?"

I cringed a few inches inside. But I didn't answer, so Malia kept talking. "I can't imagine who could be capable of betraying the royal family like that, someone from the Kingdom" she seemed horrified just by the idea. 

I cleared my throat and turned around on my chair, looking at my reflection in front of me. That mirror was screaming at me « You, traitor, it's you. » 

" I just hope they catch him soon." I said to her. 

She sighed "I hope so. And his accomplices."

I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut, but she would notice my defeat by her words. Malia wanted me prisoner. I didn't answer. How could I?

"The Count has done much damage to the palace. I heard the theft wasn't half of his betrayal to the royal family."

"Oh, wasn't it?"

"No," she continued, "I think he did something really bad to them. What do you think was so bad that the royal family wouldn't want to talk about it?"

I couldn't know, but knowing Gerard it could have been anything. He was crafty, skilled at manipulation. He always had the most poisonous words on the tip of his tongue and knew how to gird himself in your head so violently that you'd have to jump off a cliff just to get him out. And I was never going to make it. 

"What can you expect from a criminal?" I returned, still distracted by my reflection. 

"Yes" she agreed. "Not good."

Not good. 

Malia sighed and I saw her intention to change the subject when her eyes fell upon me with a different gleam, a more flirtatious one. "So," she said, "Did you notice that Tara has gone on a date with the prince?"

I rolled my eyes "Are you kidding? She took it upon herself to let us all know. Surely the rumor made it all the way to the boys' corridors"

"How she likes to brag" she said 0I don't get it, it's something you're supposed to expect by now, to go on a date with him. We all have to have one at some point"

"Let her think she's a little special," I joked.

But Malia didn't want to laugh now "She's thought she was too special from the start." Her voice dropped for a moment and I suddenly realized her discontent. 

I pocketed a forced smile "Let's not let it go to her head ever, okay?"

She nodded, as if accepting my consoling proposal. "Okay"

I stayed with her a little longer until we had to go back to work. Everyone was talking about the paper, insulting Gerard, but insulting his accomplices as well. 

If I belonged to this kingdom, I had to understand that loyalty was never exchanged for fear, for threats. And only then, when they realized that I ignored that loyalty, would they know that the only way to do something like that was to reject the kingdom. Because I did, I was not loyal because I rejected it. To the kingdom and its nobility. I was rejecting it as much as I was rejecting Gerard. And that was the real betrayal. 

I couldn't even pay attention to Tara's presumptions at dinner, talking about her date with the prince. I went back to my room after dinner, but the hours were not helping my own thoughts and misery. 

I had a small balcony that I liked to admire at night, sometimes I would go out and stare at the sky. Or the mountains that were noticeable from afar, where barely a few buildings rose into view. 

The kingdom of Beacon Hills so small and so forsaken, how could they name this nobility their king? Poverty out there was never a concern for them. The vandalism of the security officers themselves against us. They never did anything when they were beating in the streets and breaking into houses, demanding a pittance of pay. What did they want more money for, if they had it all? 

That's what they were to me, miserable. And the rest of the kingdom didn't see it because it wasn't a problem that affected them. And then they would kiss the ground that every member of the nobility stepped on. 

<< "We have a lot in common now, Lydia." he said looking at me "I recognize your family's concerns, not unlike the royal family. I am the one you must trust now." >>

The sky seemed to judge me from above, even in its glorious beauty. I didn't think I was going to sleep tonight. Maybe some tea would help me, like my mother used to make me when I couldn't sleep.

So I got myself a coat to sneak out of my room. I walked over to the windows to open them outward and let the little moonlight help me see better. A snort of wind blew through the window and hit my face. 

I turned with the intention of starting to reach for the tea, but I was met head-on by Prince Stiles. My chest leapt forward suddenly and I took a step backward without realizing it. 

His eyes fell on me and panic hissed through me unbearably. "Stiles" my lips moving over his name. 

Your highness! You have to call him your highness. I restrained myself. « Too late » 

"Lydia," he said, his voice like finely hewn firewood, "What are you doing up?"

"I was looking for some tea to sleep, your highness."

"You can't sleep?"

I shook my head "I have a bit of a headache."

He took a step forward and my veins became alert, I had to hit the pretend button too fast again. "Do you need me to call a nurse?" he asked. 

I wanted to roll my eyes. For a headache, prince? 

"That won't be necessary, a tea is enough." I told him and dared to start walking around the kitchen in search of the drawer where the infusions were kept "You cannot sleep either?"

There was a bit of silence until he said "No"

Since I was here, I had to play my cards right somehow. "Would you like me to make two cups, then?"

"Yes, thank you."

I nodded and got on with it. The prince sat in front of one of the smaller tables in the kitchen while he waited. I was surprised to notice that his eyes weren't on me as regularly as I expected, but I was more relieved than anything. I pulled out the infuser and lit the fire. 

"Have you met Bobby already."

"Yes" I answered quickly "He's very kind, he helped me pick out a beautiful dress."

"I'm glad." His voice didn't have many contrasts to decipher. "You'll have to get along with him because you'll be seeing him a lot."

I looked at him over my shoulder with a half smile "I don't have any problem" and I didn't lie "I already liked him very much. He has very good taste."

There was a pause of silence and I kept looking at the water temperature as if it was as important as wanting to get out of here. I just wanted to be alone and have some tea but now I had the prince with me - what was he doing wandering around the small doors at this hour anyway? He had a whole palace, a larger kitchen that was made especially for him and his family. Hallways inside large doors that could give him more company than an empty corridor. So what was he doing here?

I finally removed the hot water from the kettle I used to scald it, putting in two level teaspoons to pour the water. And I waited again, letting the tea leaves infuse. "You come down here a lot?" I wanted to ask him 

He seemed to hesitate "Actually I do, at night I come here a lot."

I turned my face towards him "Really? Why?"

I didn't realize how my question was going too far into the intrusion but he didn't even seem to care. "Down here there are not so many walls, or bars."

And suddenly I realized something I hadn't considered before; down here there were lots of windows, there were no walls, not so many grilles. The access to the garden was too direct and you could see every fountain, every hedge. And the one time I was inside the big doors, at the gala, I didn't make a big deal about the lack of windows. In the royal hall, during the dinner with the princess and the prince, I couldn't notice it either. And it was true, there were no windows. Why?

"Yes" I said, not daring to ask him why so much enclosure. "It's beautiful down here."

"It is" his eyes fell on the window I had opened when I came in, as if longing for something. 

I couldn't tell what. 

I went to pour the tea cups when they were ready. I sat down in the chair across from him. 

He took his eyes away from the window and smiled at me, for the first time I could tell how much he had forced that gesture. "Thank you, Lydia."

I nodded silently. His gaze suddenly turned cold as he sipped at his teacup, pointing. I could see the reflection of a handful of thoughts flashing through his eyes but I couldn't read them. 

I didn't hesitate when I asked "Are you okay?"

He set the teacup on the table and looked at me, then shook his head in an affirmative. His gaze splintered faster under me and noticing it weighed on me. "Yes" he said too quickly "Lydia, I have a proposition for you." I noticed his clear intention to change the subject. 

I didn't thank him. 

"And what is it about?" I forced myself to ask 

"You said you like to ride horses in your town" and I realized where he was going. 

I nodded "That's right”

“Would you like to see the stable?"

As I predicted, it was a date again. Everything was going so well. 

But maybe this time it wouldn't be so bad, I loved the stables and riding horses, it was true. I missed it so much and it wouldn't be so horrifying to try. But going with him really bordered on all surfaces of my discontent. But I couldn't say no. 

I lifted the teacup to take a small sip and looked at the prince, who was waiting for my response "I would be delighted."


	6. I’m out with lanterns, looking for myself

I knew that if the prince asked me on a date again I would not be able to pretend the same as before and would have to put forth a greater effort. 

I was in the kitchen when Talia interrupted our breakfast. “Lydia.” she called “You have to go see Bobby.”

Melissa told me I had to see him but I didn't think he would be here so soon. Talia looked at me waiting for an answer, a serious expression.

“Who is Bobby?” Tara interrupted before I could say anything. 

Talia didn't give up her disgruntled expression at any point and gave her a quick sideways glance “Dressmaker, Miss.” she replied, without further ado. 

Before Tara could continue asking questions I looked at Talia myself “Is he waiting for me now?” I asked her. 

She nodded “That's right.”

I got up from my chair to pick up my plate immediately and take it to the sink. 

“Oh, I want to see him too!” Tara returned to the conversation and some eyes fell on her for the first time. 

So far they were all focused on their breakfasts but Tara took it upon herself to draw more attention to herself than necessary. I pursed my lips into a firm line but just busied myself with washing my dirty plate. 

“Bobby is only waiting for Lydia.” Talia seemed to have almost lost what little humor she had left “Please make it as soon as possible” she turned to me. 

I nodded towards her again. I complied with her order and hurried to do the dishes. 

But when Talia was about to turn to leave, Tara called her attention again “Why only Lydia?” her voice seemed to be dressed in reproach. 

I rolled my eyes slyly. Then I looked at her “Tara, calm down” I whispered. 

Talia sighed and her eyes fell on her on the verge of pure jadedness. “These are the prince's orders, Miss Raeken.” Her voice like steel “I ask you to lower your voice. Until the prince decides otherwise, only Lydia is allowed to see Bobby.”

“But -“

“Silence.” Talia silenced her by raising her voice, and even more fed up she turned to me with a nod of her head “Lydia, go this instant.” In her eyes I understood the severity of her order. 

I put down the dishes and nodded to take a step forward “Yes.” I said and Talia turned to leave. 

I sighed following her and leaving behind a couple of murmurs and grunts from Tara. I realized the twinges that met my head in that moment. 

I should have known this would happen. 

Talia stopped in front of the hallway leading to the stairs and looked at me “Bobby wait upstairs.” And without further ado, she turned to walk in the opposite direction, leaving me there. 

I sighed and went upstairs to see him. Melissa had already shown me the way and told me that from now on I would have to go alone for all remaining dates, which was not my most energetic excitement. 

As long as I was here, I knew I didn't want to complain about every single thing, every single date. But I just couldn't focus on how to pretend better. I was beginning to see how pointless it would be for me to pretend when all I wanted was to leave. Wasn't I supposed to self-sabotage? I realized how difficult my stay here would be, especially with the prince if nothing he did or said excited me. It was going to be a long road.

Bobby offered me to wear a suit suitable for riding. He had several exactly my size and chose one of great discretion and restraint. 

“Safe but not excessive for Lydia Martin," he said. 

Safe but not excessive. I wanted to get it into my head. 

White long pants and closed boots with a small enough heel. A black short-sleeved shirt. Bobby claimed it was perfect for me, and pointed out the sanity of the suit every chance he got. The suggestion seemed impossible to deny, everyone expected me to dress accordingly. 

I didn't wear all that when I used to ride at home. And I missed galloping in my own way too much. I missed the crazy rides with my mare. Her warm coat under me, since I didn't really use a saddle.

Once I was dressed, Talia told me that the prince was waiting for me. And he was, indeed, dressed like a perfect but casual equestrian, waiting in the garden by the fountain. His pants were beige, brown boots. And instead he wore a white shirt. 

His hazel eyes and polka dots helped to shine over his suit as I approached. He smiled.

“Lydia” he greeted me with a nod. 

<< Make sure you greet properly >> . I was about to roll my eyes but restrained myself. 

“Hi.”

“I hope you don't mind if we walk to the stables” he said looking at me with suspicious caution. 

I cocked my head to one side. 

I might enjoy walking a bit, I haven't been out of these wards at all. And for the first time I would feel the fresh air as I walked. Stiles led the way to the stable and we had to cross the entire garden until a stone path greeted our boots. Stiles spoke little on the way and I hoped it would be shorter, but I appreciated it anyway. 

Gradually I realized how far we were getting away from the palace, and I saw its graceful pillars in the distance. I met the sight of wonderful nature along the way. The closer we got the more I realized how big this place was and how little I hardly knew about it. It was an almost endless path, until the trees rose up in front of us. New gardens and fountains. 

Once far enough away, Stiles pointed out the stable and I kept pace with him until we arrived. I recognized the high cliffs from a distance. Swallows began to flutter in black pine branches, I noticed birch trees like the ones in the meadow near my house. 

The barn doors were open and Stiles invited me in. 

I heard the familiar snort of horses as soon as I entered and my heart pounded. “This is just one stable," Stiles told me, "There will be two more down the trail. 

That many? 

“We have ten here” he counted aloud “Four females and six males.” He stood in front of the first stall “This one is called Ebony.”

Stiles began to tell me the name of each one. And I was surprised that he remembered them all. He told me their ages even, how many times they were sick, told me about some that passed away, and which ones were the newest in the stable. It was as if the prince was really interested in the lives of those equines, when I assumed they were indifferent to him. 

“How did you learn to ride?” he asked me at some point.

I stared at a mare inside his stable, Stiles told me her name was Athena. She was profoundly beautiful. “Ever since I was little I've loved animals. All of them," I said distractedly, "My father rode a lot and I asked him to teach me. He didn't do it until I was 16 and he knew I needed a ride.”

In the town of Beacon Hills the most common transportation was horses, in some cases bicycles, but having a car was a luxury. That had been a rare thing in the kingdom for a long time, however, in the past they were overused. I have seen pictures in textbooks in the public library where there are streets full of cars, endless rows of them. But a lot of things have disappeared since WW5 for our little kingdom. There were still cars in Beacon Hills, but I've learned that not just anyone gets them. 

“Do you want to ride?” Stiles asked me. 

I turned my face toward him finally. I nodded “Yes.”

“Pick one.” His eyes fell on all the stables inside the barn. 

My heart jumped again and I knew I didn't have to think too hard. Immediately my eyes fell on Athena again, her ears erect and alert, watching us. Athena was a chestnut, I realized she wasn't the most striking of them all, but she was the most beautiful to me. She reminded me too much of my mare at home. She was moderately skinny, but I could tell she was strong. 

“Her” I didn't hesitate 

Stiles nodded immediately with a half smile and opened the stall to take her out, after hitching the bit to the bridle. I stood there with her while she looked for someone to ride. 

“Hello, little one” I approached her from the front, slowly and without hurrying. 

Athena snorted and I smiled. 

I held her limb to start walking with her towards Stiles, who was already saddling a horse, who I remember was named Max. 

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye “Do you know how to saddle a horse?”

I wanted to look away. “Yes. Why, do you need help?”

Stiles noticed the unintentional sarcasm in my voice and let out a low chuckle, for the first time I saw his perfectly white teeth as he smiled. 

“Alright, you can take a saddle over there” he pointed to the space in one corner where all the saddles were, still amused. 

And I did. I wasn't used to doing it at home but I learned well. To my luck, Athena wasn't fussy in front of strangers, when I tied her to one of the stable poles she stayed calm. 

Stiles handed me a brush and I enjoyed combing her hair, it had been so long since I had touched a horse that I lost myself in her mane. She received my strokes without complaint and I was glad to know that, I wanted to convey confidence to her. Then I went about preparing the saddle. I put the pad on her and brought the saddle to her back very carefully. It took me a while to adjust the girth but I did it. Almost finished, I just had to put on the reins and stirrups. 

“Ready?” Stiles asked me 

I nodded smiling “Ready.”

I untied Athena and led her outside, following Stiles. 

I stood next to her to get on carefully and firmly, I placed my left foot in the left stirrup without tensing too much. I tried to do it very carefully so Athena wouldn't fret. I propelled myself to put my right leg over the rump and then placed myself in the stirrups. Athena tried to move a little as I climbed up and I held her head carefully so I wouldn't fall off, but I made it at last. I sighed once I was up, the relief of getting back on a mare, of riding her. I couldn't help but smile. 

Athena shifted gait and I settled into her rhythm, I settled next to Stiles already riding Max. 

His eyes were forward “Would you like to get to know the field?”

I nodded and then he started galloping forward, I followed him. I went along with Athena's movements carefully, it was still a little hard for me to adapt to equines for the first time, never having ridden them before. But for some reason Athena was a sweetheart. 

We reached the end of the trail too soon. Stiles was riding Max like a perfect pro, experience shining in his arms over the reins. Nothing I should be surprised about, having so many stables and horses, surely he had ridden them all. 

“What's that?” I asked him when my eyes fell on all those trees. 

Stiles didn't look at me when he answered “It's the forest.”

“And what's in there?”

“Deer. My father used to hunt.”

“And do you?” I had to ask him. 

He frowned and his nose immediately wrinkled. “No, fortunately I don’t”

We continued to walk around the huge square field while he talked. I almost enjoyed riding Athena more than talking to him and I was worried that it would be too noticeable along the way. But Athena was just beautiful, she was such a tame and calm animal, it made me want to ride her all day. 

“You said your family has a farm” he mentioned “How far from the palace?”

My shoulders immediately tensed at the mention of my family. “Not that far” I replied “It's in Garnet.”

He nodded. “Tell me more about your town.” he asked in a softer voice now, coming to my side with Max.

My eyes were lost in the clean landscape in front of us. “There's not much to tell” I told him, again distracted “It's a beautiful and very small town, few people.”

I prayed that my detour wouldn't show. But it seemed that I was not succeeding “And your family, what do they do?”

I almost wanted to glare at him but I held back so hard that my head hurt from the effort. They are dedicated to flee from misery, I wanted to tell him, the misery in which your kingdom put us. 

But I did have to be true to my mother's pleas. 

“My father is a farmer” I answered the obvious “, and my mother’s a seamstress.”

“What about you?” he asked again with the same curiosity. 

Run away from your misery. 

“Sometimes I help my father” I said coldly “Sometimes I take care of my neighbors' children” I added “And sometimes I draw.”

He raised his thick, dark eyebrows “You draw?”

I nodded “Yes, paintings” I was no longer looking at him, but at the trees in front of me. 

I had to answer his questions but I really had no enthusiasm. Talking about my family with a person we had betrayed, but who ignored us all our lives when we asked for help. He probably didn't even remember us. 

“I see.” He seemed to notice my reluctance to continue the conversation. 

I sighed and turned with Athena to ride in another direction, not realizing that I had purposely run away from him. My heart beat almost empty in my chest from the urge to erase the memories of misery in my head.

I realized how worthless I was as a daughter, riding with a member of the royal family as if he had never done me and my family any harm. Him and his people, his kingdom. His destructive monarchy. 

It angered me that he didn't even seem to remember my last name, nothing. When my father begged for his attentions, and was rejected without any sign of empathy. Or did he just not care? 

I didn't notice when Stiles caught up to me, shifting into an easy trot. I tried to automatically replace the repulsive expression on my face and relax my features. But now the prince seemed more informed. 

Even though he wasn't looking at me, and his eyes fell in front of him, I could tell he had paid enough attention to me to realize I had no energy to pretend. 

He remained silent until I heard him say “Tell me.”

I turned my face with a frown, holding Athena carefully. “What?”

His eyes were frowning at the thin band of light coming through the leaves of the trees beside him.

“Why are you here?” His gaze returned to me cold, pointed. 

Panic hissed from the soles of my feet, above the stirrups. I tried to swallow the rock in my throat “You invited me.” I said as if it were the obvious. 

The prince shook his head “I mean The Selection” Then I felt my heartbeat go out of control. 

I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders to try to find calm “Same reason we're all here.”

“But you look displeased.” he blurted into the wind. 

I had little breath left in my bones. He didn't notice, did he? 

“I'm not euphoric, that's true” I whispered without needing to continue pretending too much. 

He nodded without much background in his gesture, as if it was something he had already noticed. “Why?”

I thought I could have joked about it, but I couldn't help but shake off the idea.

“Are you too surprised that someone isn't elated to be your wife?” I blurted out, my tone almost bordering on disinterest. Just to make him realize, at last, that I didn't plan to keep humiliating myself for his approval.

But he seemed to disagree with my words, so he seemed to refute. “Not at all, and I don't see why I should.”

I cocked my head to one side “Then I am wrong, your highness. I apologize," I said almost sarcastically.

Stiles turned his face away when he noticed the cynical tone with which I had replied “Did I say something to upset you?”

I pouted “No. I'm just sorry for not being sufficiently elated about an arranged marriage.”

Now it was he who cocked his head “Well, this is not an arranged marriage, it's selected.” he pointed out categorically “You don't have to marry me if you don't want to.”

And suddenly we were talking about marriage. A nightmare. 

“I’m not supposed to be here then” I told him with a careless grimace, this in an attempt to throw him off the scent, but it turned out rather in what put me on the spot. 

The prince recognized it. And he looked at me minutely, as if wanting to discover all my secrets. I had to clench my stomach many times not to reveal myself completely. 

“Why are you here, then?”

I wandered my gaze among the trees in front of us, all the branches that reached the view of the forest, wanting to get lost in it and never be found. I could do nothing but fall silent. 

I swallowed my breath. Apparently, the prince had an uncomfortable way of predicting lies and I had learned about it too late. 

My silence made him react, "I see," he said quietly. I turned my face to look at him in confusion. A smile peeked over his lips and he seemed to be on the verge of second guessing me completely. “Is it the money or the crown?”

I snorted turning to anger once again. “None!” I raised my voice now. 

But Stiles didn't refute. “Then you are simply reckless or a liar.”

I frowned lI don't imagine you'd know about recklessness. And I'm not lying about anything.” I defended with an attempt to raise a brow. 

It didn't seem to work, because the prince shook his head in an unconvinced gesture. “I'm afraid that's another lie. You're too obvious.”

I gulped. And my eyes moved away from him before he completely deciphered me, I stared off into nothingness. 

But it had already been too late for that. 

“Why are you really here, Lydia?”


	7. Truth is so rare that it is delightful to tell it

I kept quiet.

I could not speak, the mist of impotence completely blurred me, only to embroider a new hole from my throat. 

"You can tell me." Stiles continued in my silence. 

That was it. I had been discovered. 

I couldn't pretend anymore. 

"I'd rather you send me home." I let go without looking at him, held my breath for a few seconds feeling the choking and the pressure in the pit of my stomach.

I could hear the rhythm of my own breathing. 

"Is that what you want?" There is no tension in his voice for now. 

"I..." fell silent when I noticed the little crystals that started to form in my eyes. 

Damn it. I was defeated. 

How did he figure it out? What the hell would I do now? 

"It's okay, Lydia." He interrupted me "I know you don't want to be here" his voice harsh.

I looked at him and an electric shock hit me. His features surrounded himself against an atmosphere of sudden stillness and tranquility, almost as if he were trying to transmit it to me, or at least infect me with his calm. 

"Don't worry, I'm not going to say anything."

And what was that supposed to mean? Why would I trust him, a member of royalty? He knew that those who were here with ulterior motives would be punished by the law. He knew that very well. And those laws came from his nobility. 

It was written very clearly on that huge pamphlet full of guidelines and conditions that were given to us long before we entered the academy. We were warned that anyone who entered the palace with ulterior intentions would be considered a liar and a swindler. Those who were here out of economic interest, vindictive interest, with intentions to steal, or any other offense, would be a direct betrayal for them. 

I had no reason to trust him if he agreed to that rule. And I would not. 

Because my intentions here were not the best. 

"In exchange for what?" I let go 

Stiles looked at me silently. Too much of a scrubber. 

Blows of cold paralyzed me and led to adverse events. He didn't have to say anything for me to feel the weight of his gaze on me. 

What do you want from me, prince? 

Stiles continued to look at me with suspicious attention, then ideas crossed my mind. My veins leapt to alert. An insidious feeling of unease. 

"If you lay a finger on me I will scream." I warned him 

He smiled suddenly, letting out a bitter laugh. I threw my head back still with suspicion. 

"Who could hear you here?" but then he shook his head in a line of humor "In exchange for nothing, Lydia." He looked at me funny "Breathe."

Was he making fun of me? 

I snorted in his direction again. "Bullshit" I spat 

Stiles raised his eyebrows more surprised now. I realized that I had spoiled everything with that comment and that now there was no turning back. 

A knot made of anxiety and nervousness tore my stomach apart.

"Wow." He blew "I finally know you."

I glanced at him and the prince nodded with understanding. And so, so easily, I had stopped pretending in front of him. 

I didn't have much to hide now, I just had to protect my family and honor their requests. As far as I could, because now I had offended the prince in his face. 

"If you want me to send you home, you'll have to give me a reason." he said lucidly, furrowing his features.

Was he serious? 

A dozen chaotic scenarios were drawn in my head. If I told him, I would end up in jail, not only for having entered with intentions that were alien to those that were allowed and accepted, but also for the weight of those intentions. But something tells me that he already knew that. 

"I've given you enough reasons, I'm not interested." I replied "Nor in you, nor in The Selection, nor in your palace."

As I said before, I no longer had to pretend. There was no longer any need to deny it 

"A reason that sends you home."

The silence that followed his statement was so tense that the impotence came to cloud my vision. His words stung my chest and had no other reception. 

I understood perfectly what he meant then. A reason that sends me home, not to jail.

I confirmed there that I had gotten into serious trouble. 

My whole body trembled because of the air that was cooked inside me at full speed. My pulse beat violently through my ear and pricked my temples, but I barely managed to keep my head up. 

"I know the laws, Your Highness." A gesture full of annoyance gripped my face when I said 'Your Highness,' and I'm sure he noticed my sarcasm "I won't be able to go home anyways."

"Tell me, Lydia" the prince said after a long silence, not denying my earlier statement, "Tell me why I should send you home," those eyes now gingerly upon me. 

"I cannot tell you." I hunched over myself and Athena. 

A long sigh escaped him and he looked at me as if I didn't understand what he meant "I don't care, lie to me."

What?

My breath got stuck in my throat. 

“I simply changed my mind.”

But he seems to notice it very easily. “You'll have to find a better excuse because I can't do anything with that, I'm sorry.”

The world around me started to dissolve and I grunted. I tried to control the anger that threatened to blow me up. My blood buzzed but the prince simply tilted his face against me, bringing Max closer to Athena. 

“When you find one, tell me.” he said, with a gesture intended to be carefree, but his jaw was now tense. 

I turned my eyes “Don't worry, seeing you is enough.”

He dared to laugh. 

His eyes were now whipping me hard but fun, almost reaching for the mockery, which I had never seen from him before. 

Did he find all this so funny? 

“I see.” He nodded, wanting to wipe the smile off his face. “Does it bother you that much to see me?”

I feel a new discharge, as nourished as all the previous ones. 

“It makes me have suicidal thoughts at night.”

Stiles laughed, again. His laugh always so open

He was sitting on his horse with pride, shining like a beast tied up on display. My words did not affect him. 

Hazel eyes were thrown directly at me like golden knives, even gentle ones. Was I in trouble? Did I care if I was? 

Gerard said this could not happen, but if it did, I had to play my cards carefully and be overly kind. But for all I care, I could also blame it all on my repulsion towards him. 

Which could also get me into big trouble, but once I stopped pretending, I couldn't turn back now. 

I didn't care what Gerard said, I was going to stop pretending from now on, self-sabotaging if necessary. 

I’m sorry, Gerard. I tried. But there will be a change of plan. 

I was going to make my own plan now. 

“I knew you weren't euphoric” he shaded his eyes “But I didn't imagine you would despise me so much.”

“ I bet you don't notice much going on around you” and I was referring specifically to the poor in the kingdom, who are largely ignored by royalty. “But you're not wrong.”

He raised an eyebrow “May I know why?”

“It's none of your business.”

“If you hate me I'd like to know why.”

When I turned around to look at him, he was already looking at me in a penetrating way. The dozens of nested mountains that rose up behind him as soon as I looked at him was enough to bring me back to reality and remind me why I despise him so much...him, his interests, his kingdom, family and palace. And even his enemies, as Gerard was. And precisely one of those reasons was his ability to judge and sentence the people he controlled.

I could tell him everything, right here. I could shout out a thousand reasons why I hated him, but I wouldn't give him the pleasure of seeing me behind bars. 

Blinking leisurely and taking one last look at him, I turned my back on Athena to let him know that I would not speak. I started to gallop in the same direction we had come. 

This walk had to end soon. 

Prince Stiles did not even make the effort to follow me back to the stable. I realized that as soon as I started to walk away from him, his arms rested at his sides facing forward and he stood motionless over Max. 

And even when I arrived and dismounted Athena, I never saw any sign of him. Everything gave me to understand that he would not return yet. He even gave me enough time to take Athena to her block and leave her there. 

The way back to the palace was just frustrating, now I had to keep a cool head and find a way to handle the situation but everything indicated that I had messed up. I wouldn't mind right now being the one who lost the game, I don't have a drop of excitement in my veins for going far in this selection. I could perfectly well leave as soon as possible but I couldn't think with so much dizziness in my head. 

At least I no longer had to pretend to be happy all the time by the prince's side. On the way back to the palace the tremor in my body didn't last a second. I knew I had no chance of seeing the prince again, I had left him far enough behind and it didn't even seem like he intended to return soon. 

As I approached the gardens and crossed the wide lawn I could feel the stone colored spiral pinnacles that looked as stately as the surrounding garden, hovering like a shadow of superiority above me, until I reached the corridors of the small wing.

For the next few hours I could not concentrate on finishing the last threads of my new plan. I have to defeat Gerard and the royal family inside this palace at the same time, but most importantly, I had to save my family. 

“Lydia!” I heard Malia's voice running towards me as I walked across the hall. 

I can tell that we are behind the kitchen, the smell of spices and flour makes it easy for me to guess. The girls must be cooking lunch right now. 

“Hi” I wanted to swallow the stone in my throat when she stood in front of me.

“I saw you coming from the window. You had a date with the prince, right? Tara has not stopped cursing you all day” she told me raising her eyebrows “I have to warn you before you join us for lunch, she is in an unbearable mood.”

I sigh without much encouragement “I'm not surprised” I said “Don't worry about me, go back to the others before Talia scolds you. I'll go change and come with you as soon as I'm done” I wanted to give her a calm smile so her worried expression would change a little.

She looked at me trying to nod her head but I knew inside she was not convinced. Maybe because I didn't see how unbearable Tara's mood was at this point, but it seemed like Malia knew I wasn't going to like it. 

“Alright” She agreed “Will you tell me how it went with the prince?” she asked again, approaching her usual curious tones 

I smiled and tried very hard not to reveal the sudden uphill climb into the pit of my stomach, suddenly disgusted. With them I still had to pretend. 

“Later” I assured with a nod “Go now”. 

Malia's eyes glowed with satisfaction when she knew that she would find out all the details of my date, even if it really wasn't. I couldn't tell her more than the prudent things to say. She quickly nodded and turned to go back to the kitchen with the others. If Talia had seen her outside of work, she would have given her a glimpse.

I went to my room dragging my feet. I had every intention of changing quickly, but as soon as I closed the door behind me all I could do was walk around, thinking about the future that lay ahead of me now that I had confessed to the prince that I was not interested in being here. 

It was hard for me to understand that now I had to come up with the perfect plan and that I had to do it alone. I knew that I had to continue without fear, and that I could not turn back. But I couldn’t, for no reason, expose my family. I'd rather be in danger alone. 

I looked in a hurry for the booklet that we had been given during the selection process and that we had to study very carefully at the academy, all the guidelines, rules and conditions. All of this was linked to the meanest laws made by the nobility. 

I went over each article again and again to understand my rights and duties by heart. I had to know how I could defend myself and act so that I could not give my family away, until now I had been doing well, but I was giving myself away. Especially by admitting that my intentions in this selection are not sincere, and that I do not wish to marry the prince, much less become his princess. 

One of the articles talked about how offenses were the sign of betrayal. So many times I wanted to roll my eyes while reading, but I realized that I was taking a long time in my room, and when I could manage to get my shattered head out, I tried to change and go back with the girls. I would probably get there when they had finished preparing lunch, but I didn't want to have to put up with Tara's comments for a long time. 

Voices filtered through me screaming at me to obey and stick to the same old plan, protecting Gerard. And I didn't intend to rat him out, but if Gerard wanted this to go according to his ideas, then I wasn't even lukewarm. 

I would do things my own way. I didn't know if I was doing it right, but if I got myself into this mess, I would have to get myself out.

**Author's Note:**

> Copyright © All rights reserved © 2020  
> Fanfic Stydia (Teen Wolf)  
> Also inspired by The Selection (Only in few aspects)  
> This story was originally written in Spanish (by me) and I translated my own work to English, which is not my first language, so you might notice some mistakes. I try my best please don’t judge too much, I would appreciate you to kindly correct me :)


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